'It has pleased God to call your Dad home'

 

                                                Photo by Eyasu Etsub on Unsplash

'It has pleased God to call your Dad home'.

I went cold.

My arms and feet.

January 22nd, 2021

I was on my way home from work when my brother called. He asked for our family -read government- hospital card number. It was a very odd question because my dad had retired -as a civil worker- and we no longer used the card for consultation. In fact, we had been told on several occasions that they had taken his card 'off the shelf'. Besides my brother had his own card at the same hospital, being a government staff. So the question was very weird on all fronts. 

I told him I could not remember the exact number but gave him two or three numbers that came to my head at that time. I asked what the problem was and he said Dad was in the hospital and they needed to get his card for treatment. We hung up and I went home.

6:02PM: My brother sends me a voice note on WhatsApp explaining what had happened and even said he was not supposed to tell me. My Dad had suffered a stroke on his right side and needed to be taken to the Federal Medical Centre in Abeokuta immediately. I responded with 'oh my God' and asked if he had called any of our family members, asides from my Uncle and Aunty that had been in the hospital with them. He was being transferred to a different - and higher- facility and they obviously needed to know. We joked about how my Dad was protesting to go home.

Not that he could speak, but we all knew him. He always liked to have his way. He also did not like the idea of hospitals. I was told to inform my sister in Canada. The time difference- oh God. I finally got through to her and her response was a loud 'What?'. She asked if I had been crying to which I replied No. And she said to be calm while she spoke to my other sister while her husband spoke to my brother. I was relieved. He always handled things, and always got things done. 

January 23rd, 2021

I text my brother again and he said he had not really slept all through the night. I felt for him. He tried to update and keep me in the loop. They were going to Babcock University Teaching Hospital for some tests and scans. Our family doctor called me and explained what had happened and what needed to be done. I felt comforted knowing everyone wanted my mind to be at rest. I FaceTimed my brother all through their ride in the ambulance and I stared at my phone screen, looking at my dad as he lay helpless on the stretcher. I asked my brother to take pictures and send them to me. He said he was not allowed to. I told him we needed the pictures to show my Dad when he eventually comes out and how we will joke about it with him.

My brother started calling all of my dad's close friends and some of our family members. He lamented about the money they had spent and how everyone was pulling resources together, making sure my dad got the best care possible. My brother also needed to go to school for his lectures - postgrad school. But he could not. He was with my Dad. My sister was there too. I saw a photo of him on the bed - two intravenous injections attached to his arms and my sister praying by his bedside. 

My mum was home alone. She couldn't go with them to Abeokuta that day. I spoke to her and her voice was not the best tune I have ever heard. I spoke to my friend about helping me get food for her, being home alone. She had the food delivered to her house and told me not to bother about paying her back. I was more than grateful. The fact that I had someone who was able to do something I would have done if I was presented really amazed me. 

January 24th, 2021

My mum went to the hospital in Abeokuta. 

He was still under care and we did not really know what was going on or what to expect. He also now had a feeding tube. I usually saw those things on TV. Looking at them now, on him - I could not piece it together. It escalated so quickly. The doctors were not giving us enough information. We bought drugs and injections - so many of them. Each doctor on every ward round had a new drug or injection they wanted him to use. It was a cycle. I did a bit of research on my own and spoke to a couple of my friends in the medical field. One of them explained all I needed to know in detail and prepared my mind for whatever the eventual outcome might be. But I was hopeful. Therapy might help. I was hopeful. 

January 25th, 2021

He slipped into a coma.

4:06PM: They were headed for the ICU. I became scared. I cried. I was at work. Jesus.

I started to shake and called my brother. He told me to be strong and not break down at work.

9:36PM: They were still waiting to be transferred to the ICU. No bed space. Nigeria. My brother found his old school friend whose dad was a top director in the hospital. They were immediately taken into the ICU and needed scans and tests done. My brother explained much later how everyone was literally running heater skelter upon hearing the director was involved. Nigeria happened to us.

January 26th, 2021

For some weird reason, I found it hard to sleep. Normally, I try to sleep between 10PM and 11PM especially when I have work the next day. I concluded that I was stressed and tried to rest. At about 12:25am, I saw my brother's WhatsApp story of two broken hearts. I asked what happened and he did not respond. I called and he said he was just traumatized by the whole event and was tired. He then deleted it. Almost immediately after our call. 

5:30AM: My guardians called me for the daily Covenant Hour of Prayer. After the prayer, I was beckoned to sit. It felt weird. The husband and wife sat down with me. I did not see anything coming. At first, I thought I had done something terrible and I was about to be reprimanded. Then he started and I remember clearly. "I want you to know that whatever God does, He does it for good and only Him knows best' I look from his face to his wife's face. I did not understand. 'It has pleased the Lord to call your Dad home'

The next couple of weeks opened the chapter of the most chaotic year of my life.